Riding the wave

Two weeks ago, I had four interviews, four. Two with recruiters and two with actual companies, I felt so positive and hopeful.

Out of those four turned into something but, it has left a bitter taste in my mouth. The recruiter's minion called me a day after the interview and asked what I t bought. I said that I was not too happy with the pay and the job is not really what I want to do. But, I was willing to speak to the client to see if maybe they could better describe it. This assistant just went from nice to rude in seconds. She starts saying that obviously I am not serious about my job search, that I may never have another opportunity like this again, how do I like not working etc?

My mouth hit the floor and I was just so pissed off. I kept my cool, corrected many of her assumptions and stood my ground. I was just so turned off by her and at the company.

Ironically, they met my salary requests and I have an interview with the client on Wednesday. One thing remains and it is the fact that the position is not what I want to do. It is what I did years ago and got burned out on. It is the reason I got my M.B.A, to get out of that dead end job. I did it, I was great at it but I don't want to do it again.

So now I am on the fence (assuming I get an offer) do I take it or not. Sure I can take it and keep looking but at the same time, I know that it will suck the life out of me. There is no way around that. I will be so unhappy doing it and I don't want to be stuck. Sure it may lead to different positions and up the chain but, I want to project manage. I love that and this position is not it not even close. Plus, I get paid hourly with no sick, holiday, vacation pay.

I am trying not to get ahead of myself but, I am so confused. My husband is supportive if I want the job or not but I see his panic when we talk about what happens in a few months. We'll be ok but it will be hard, we will have to scrimp more and cut more things out.

But is it worth my mental well being? I guess everything has a price. I am having nightmares, I am panicking, I am going though books, CDs, clothes to see if I can sell them.

I hate this ride so much, I want it to end. I want this to be okay. I just hate this!

Good, Meh and Networking

I haven't been by in a while. There are a few things that are going on some have been good and some meh. So here are the bullets:

Good

-Went to Pride this year for the first time in seven years. Hubs and I had fun but we won't go again for a while, it was hot and crowded and I got this weird sunburn. We had more fun with our neighbors at the local Pride North street fare where we hung out with some of our friends listening to this very cool 80s cover band.

-Got Tickets to see Paul McCartney. He has been on my concert bucket list for years and when I heard that he was going to play Wigley Field, I HAD to go. I was able to score a few tickets and to say I am excited is a major understatement

-We had amazing weather for the four of July weekend. So on Saturday we had a BBQ with neighbors and friends, I made s'more cookies from the recipe that CBN had given me. They were a huge hit and my husband went bragging into work yesterday that I had to make more so he can take them in.

-I had an interview, I think it went well but it is the waiting game at this point. I am not getting my hopes too high because I then crash hard if it does not go the way I hoped that it would.

Meh

-Still not working, it has gotten to me but I have pretty much accepted it for what it was. People keep telling me it can take up to a year. That freaks me out. I am still having nightmares about being laid off again or not paying our bills.

-My career councilor wants me to network but that is so hard for me. I have a limited circle of friends here and I am not outgoing to say to a stranger"Hey how are you? I am unemployed..." Any ideas? I have joined meet up and Linked in groups

-My husband has a lot of travel coming up and I am not thrilled. He wanted me to go with him but he will be in meetings all day so I will be alone and I would have to pay for airfare and eats and right now spending is not my objective.

-To the last point, my husband will be traveling on our anniversary so he will miss it. Boo on him. My neighbors are going to take me out to celebrate and although it takes two men to replace him, I am looking forward to the cocktails and the fun.

-My car got broken into last week. The ass hats took a dog carrier. So that was a fun jaunt to a shady section of Chicago to get my window replaced. Although it was not bad, it was money that I needed elsewhere

So what is good and meh with you?