tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-259698592024-03-07T02:07:22.643-06:00musings, graces and fateJust some of my musings on life, the faces of the graces and the fickle finger of the fates...Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.comBlogger729125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-53869635380582017992013-08-05T21:24:00.002-05:002013-08-05T21:24:37.931-05:00Moving on... sort ofIt has been 11 weeks and counting since the boys were born and my days and nights are consumed by them either visiting, thinking or planning. So this blog has been put on the back burner.<br />
<br />
However, I did create a new blog to document the boys and our experience. I have been posting there.<br />
<br />
I plan on coming back here to blog about non baby or rather little baby talk. If you want a link to the new blog, let me know in the comment section with your email address and I will send it to you. I will not publish you email address.<br />
<br />
I will be back here soon.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-14347751368719521352013-05-26T22:03:00.002-05:002013-05-26T22:04:34.612-05:00Cheated and hopeLast Saturday I was celebrating my 25th week of pregnancy by making Thank you cards when my water broke and our life changed.<br />
<br />
We flew to the hospital and tried to remain calm but inside we were full of fear, panic and uncertainty. When we got to the hospital it was confirmed that one sac broke and there was a good possibility that labor will begin. Our doctor did say there was a possibility that they can try and keep the guys in longer but, we were not putting our hopes too much on that. I had the steroid shot to develop their lungs and then was put on a magnesium drip immediately. That night i got some sleep, ate some jello and popsicles and went to the bathroom a lot due to the IVs. I had three IV stands going at ones. Finally at 3:45 am I got to eat a bagel.<br />
<br />
The next morning, it looked like we beat the clock when I started to have contractions that were getting longer in duration and closer that indicated labor. So we made the decision with the doctors to go in for an emergency c-section. Once that decision was made it was go time, we had time to absorb the news since we were talked to by a lot of doctors and knew what to expect or as best as we could. Regardless it was a scary time and I had my tears but knew that I had to be strong so that they could be strong. In seconds our room was full of doctors and nurses introducing themselves and explaining what they will do during the procedure. I think there were about 15 people in the delivery room. Each baby had its own team waiting for them.<br />
<br />
At 12:40 pm on May 19, my sons were born. Baby B was 1.12 lbs and Baby M was 1.06 lbs. They were rushed to the ISCU (NICU) and I was being finished. T got to see them and baby B grabbed his finger. I was in recovery for 2 hours and before I got to my room, they took me to see them. They were so small and I just cried but, they were stable and in guarded condition. That evening my mom flew in and T took her to see her grandsons. Our friends were hosting my mom and they got to see the boys too.<br />
<br />
Over the past few days, they have been doing really well and are in great hands. The nurses and doctors have been fantastic. They have been keeping us up to date and we have been allowed to see them when we can and have been able to touch them and talk to them.. We know that the next few weeks and months will have some ups and downs and we are trying to wrap our heads around everything.<br />
<br />
My recovery has been bumpy but overall each day is a bit better. I did have an infection from the procedure and I was on antibiotics. My abs do hurt and some things have been harder than I expected.<br />
<br />
Overall, this has been a crazy few days full of just not knowing what is next and how things will shape up. We have had a lot of tears of sadness and frustration but, our boys are giving us so much hope. We have been filled with a lot of prayers and hope by friends, family, twitter and fb. My hospital room was filled with flowers and cards. Which help us so much knowing we are not alone in this.<br />
<br />
We don't know why or what caused this to happen and the doctors have told me that it was not my fault and I did a good job in the 25 weeks that they were under my heart. I still blame myself and am mad to miss out on some milestones of pregnancy. I am mad that this happened and that they are going to be here for a few months, I want them home with us. I know that there are some rough days ahead. I wanted to be able to give them a strong start and was cheated out of that. <br />
<br />
They are here for a reason and one day we will know why but, we love them and will do what we can for them. They are fighters and they are strong and they are our babies and we are now a family and will face this together. We are embracing each hope and each milestone and all the prayers.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-24990339646039654332013-04-29T14:59:00.001-05:002013-04-29T14:59:20.438-05:00With some helpSo it has been a number of weeks since I blogged! Time has been going by both fast and slow, depends on the day. I am going to talk about some pregnancy/lady parts so if it is not your cup of tea move to the end where I reveal the gender.<br />
<br />
I am more than half way through with the pregnancy and I am glad/relieved that I am here. We were informed about 3 weeks ago that my cervix was short. Now the question was whether or not I was always short or if the pregnancy has shortened it. Regardless, it is not a good thing, so my doctors have put me on modified bed rest. So what that means (at least according to my docs) is that I keep off my feet for 6 waking hours as well as limiting my walking and standing and no driving! I can't do housework either! I can sit on the sofa or in bed.<br />
<br />
I knew that I would eventually end up here but did not think that I would so soon. It has been an adjustment more mentally than physically. I have a lot of things that I want to do and help around the house. My wings were clipped and for someone who is independent and reluctant to ask for help for help, this is hard. I had to get over it and ask for help.<br />
<br />
My job allows me to work from home and it helps that I gave my boss fair warning this may happen. So I am working and even supported a deployment a couple weeks back. T has been amazing, he has stepped up and picked up a lot of the slack that I used to do without batting an eye. I am just so in awe of him, I am so lucky to be married to him. <br />
<br />
Last week, my parents came to help and my dad and T painted the nursery while my mom did some cleaning and alternately drove me a bit crazy. Then on Sunday we registered. I was pushed in a wheelchair and it was kind of funny but, I was so happy to participate in that. We did go a little crazy but when you realize there are going to be two, it kind of justifies it.<br />
<br />
We have been spending the past few months making room in our condo. Our lovely neighbors the Guncles came over yesterday to help me organize the kitchen and help T look at gliders. They have insisted on forcing our hand so that we ask for help. And as I let go and did, I realize how much we needed them. They have helped from offering their opinion on paint colors and mapping out the nursery to playing with the dogs.<br />
<br />
The little ones are doing great, growing a wee bit ahead of schedule and with our weekly ultrasounds, we have been getting some cute shots. I have started to feel them move and kick and last night, T got kicked (or headbutted) when he was rubbing the belly. I love them so much already and there are so many people who love them too. They are surrounded by love and prayers.<br />
<br />
So yes, I am missing somethings like driving and going to work, I know what I need to do. I have to keep my BOYS safe and sound for another few weeks and it is a job I don't take lightly. <br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-17909323644294554422013-03-27T16:26:00.001-05:002013-03-27T16:26:24.431-05:00De-clutteringAfter we found out that we were expecting, the first serious thought is where were we going to put them? We have a two bedroom condo and i adore our place. But realistically sometimes the walls feel like they are closing in with too much stuff.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So T and I decided that we were going to de-clutter. Especially the second bedroom formerly the den ( but really the man cave). So over the past few weeks he has gone through a lot of things and we ended up dropping three boxes to the salvation army, a box of books to sell and box for storage. And we are not done, we still have to get rid of the sofa, the bookshelves and other odds and ends. I have been helping in my small way going through books, wrapping glassware and planning the nursery!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My parents will be here in a couple weeks and my dad will be helping T paint. We also plan to buy the cribs to get those set up in a couple weeks as well. T and I are on the same page....dove grey walls with a particular accent color.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, what color will the accents be? Yep, we know the genders....any guesses?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here is a clue, they are both the same gender...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Go....</div>
Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-49294999938771994532013-03-17T16:48:00.001-05:002013-03-17T16:48:15.581-05:00Sweet 16I am just over 16 weeks and each day amazes me. I "pop" a bit each day and it is kind of cool and terrifying as my body changes. My doctor says it is just a couple of weeks (even as early as next week) before I start to feel them. I just can't wait.<br />
<br />
We heard their heartbeats a number of weeks ago for the first time and it was the sweetest sound in the world. We hope that this week they cooperate and we can get a peek if they are boys or girls. The last time we had a look they both had their legs crossed.<br />
<br />
I am trying to stay stress-less or as much as possible. There have been a few doses that pop up but overall I just let things slide. That is what surprise me,! As a project manager I tend to want to organize and plan this pregnancy but I had to let that go (except for the whole risk management-I am doing whatever I can to keep them in there safe and sound for us three). Things that I would normally get stressed or upset about don't affect me as much. I am surrounding myself with happy people, places and things.<br />
<br />
T and I have been planning the nursery. We have the color that we want to paint picked out and are cleaning out the clutter. So far we have a huge box and a couple bags that we will donate. My parents are coming out in a few weeks so since he and my dad will be paining we have a goal to get things cleaned up. We have been ruthless!<br />
<br />
So that is what is going on with me, what is new with you?Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-20367333081165416442013-03-05T11:52:00.000-06:002013-03-05T11:52:00.467-06:00DelightedThank you for your kind words! We have been excited, nervous and in shock although we have had a number of weeks to get used to the idea of two. Our family and friends have been unbelievably supportive and we have already gotten offers of babysitting and hand me downs. I already have a highchair sitting in the second bedroom.<br />
<br />
I am currently at almost 14.5 weeks and have officially entered the second trimester. My first trimester was "textbook" by that I mean that I experienced the symptoms pretty much on target. While I do consider myself lucky not to have had bad morning sickness but had nausea triggered by smells. I also experienced being so tired, it is hard to explain but you just want to sleep anywhere and anytime. Thankfully, my energy has returned although I am in bed much earlier than I used to be.<br />
<br />
I have also been experiencing breathlessness but more so because (according to my research) I need more oxygen so I am not out of breath but rather taking deeper inhales and exhales. But it does cause me to take my time. Cooking makes me lose my breath and walking from my car to my desk increases my heart rate which also increases breathlessness.<br />
<br />
My belly "popped" around week 8 and with that came the growing pains. It was like I did a couple of extra sit ups and crunches. <br />
<br />
We decided to wait until I was at week 12 to tell the extended family, friends and co-works (although our parents and best friends knew already). I joked that I could not wait any longer since I could not hide my belly for too much longer! Twins have a way of popping out early!<br />
<br />
My diet has changed and that is something I am still getting used to. I am not a big eater in the sence that I eat large portions. But now I eat 6 times a day and have to consume 2200 calories. Yea, it is hard because I try to make the most of my calories and eat healthy things....most of the time. But now I stay fuller longer so especially at night it takes a lot for me to eat my last snack.<br />
<br />
I have had minimal cravings and nothing too strange. I still crave marinara sauce and the occasional pickle. I had a bad aversion to peanut butter but we are now on speaking terms. I have also got burned out of some food like greek yogurt and ice cream.<br />
<br />
We have been so grateful for every milestone and for all the support. <br />
<br />
To say this is an adventure is an understatement.<br />
<br />
What has been your newest adventure?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-34070303117633891642013-02-26T19:59:00.000-06:002013-02-26T19:59:27.264-06:00oh WowSo during my 5th week of pregnancy, I went in for an ultrasound. It was our first and we were a mix of nerves and excitement. Our tech and nurse confirmed that we had one sac that was measuring on target. T and I were thrilled, it was healthy and I was going to do everything I can to keep it healthy.<br />
<br />
A few days after week 6, I came home from work and I noticed that I was bleeding. Panic entered my entire body, I tried to remain calm and called the dr. After a conversation with the nurse, I quickly went to bed to put my feet up and stayed that way. Thankfully the bleeding was a one time fluke. That night we both slept poorly obvious to what may be happening. I was having waves of mild cramps but nothing that I have not been experiencing for the past few weeks.<br />
<br />
I worked from home the next day, in bed with my feet up. I actually was quite productive with a number of meetings and tasks that got done. We had an appointment at the dr. the next day and looking back we were doing everything to push it out of our minds.<br />
<br />
So when the appointment came, we were a big ball of nerves. The wait in the waiting room seemed to take hours before we were called in. When we were called in for the ultrasound my nerves grew by 100%.<br />
<br />
So the tech began the procedure and then muttered the works "Oh Wow" my heart sank, I heard my husband take a sharp breath. She was staring at the screen and then said "Last week you had one sac, well that embryo split and you have two" She printed out a picture to show me, my husband said "Are you serious" and raced to the screen. Sure enough there were two, with two perfect heartbeats and measuring to target.<br />
<br />
Identical twins, we are having twins.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-243708859668869742013-02-25T20:56:00.000-06:002013-02-25T20:56:11.559-06:00Two<i>I wrote this on December 26 but now, it is official</i><br />
<br />
There were two lines on the test, but that was no surprise since my blood test confirmed the news. <br />
<br />
I am pregnant. <br />
<br />
I still peed on the stick because I wanted to see what a positive test would look like. Even thought, we knew, this made it more real to us.<br />
<br />
You see our path here was hard full of ups and so many downs, we sought help, tried many things and had some serious setbacks. I feared that I would never get to be here, I was in a club that I did not choose to be a member of (But I am glad I was and still am-more on that later).<br />
<br />
But this time, it was different. I felt it in my bones, it was all just different I can't really explain it. In the infertility world there is the dreaded two week wait. It is the two weeks between the procedure and the pregnancy test. It is the longest two weeks of your life.<br />
<br />
Now imagine that wait in the middle of the Holiday season. So we were surrounded by the spirit of the season we had this huge "what if, could it be?". during this time, my husband made me promise not to pee on a stick. Sure no problemo. The second week, well that was harder, Christmas eve hardest, Christmas day not so hard since we were distracted by a sick dog and later company for dinner. Christmas night was full of high anxiety. <br />
<br />
On 12/26, I walked into the dr. office for a blood test. Then we waited for six of the longest hours of my life. Granted I took a nap which killed 2 hours but still it was stressful. At one point, I wanted to jog to get my anxiety out. At 1:56 pm my phone rang, My husband ran to my side and held my hand. As soon as the nurse said "congratulations" we both burst into tears. I had her repeat what she just told me twice, I was in shock. <br />
<br />
After the call, we sat there in each others arms, crying in disbelief that this time, it worked. I was shaking and I ran to take the test.<br />
<br />
Sure enough two lines and our new adventure awaits.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-42670593052541365342012-12-30T21:37:00.000-06:002012-12-30T21:37:42.090-06:00Another revolution around the sunAs I look back at 2012 there is no one word to describe it. It started off with a lot of worry because I was unemployed and my one offer dried up. But everything happens for a reason, and a week later I had an interview and he liked me, a lot. But, for six weeks I was in Limbo with HR calling or emailing me every day that "I was still a candidate". Finally, the second week of March, I had my second interview and two days later the job. <br />
<br />
Looking back, I can see how this job was a good fit for me and why the universe waited so long. Granted during the long 50 weeks, I was not as patient. My new job is great, I work on a fab team and have learned so much. Plus the room for growth is just knocking at my door.<br />
<br />
While starting a new job was hte highlight of the year. There were some twists and turns personally (more on that later) but, it really showed me how lucky I am to be married to my husband. He was my rock, my voice of reason and a source of positivity (if not a few bad jokes).<br />
<br />
It taught me how different we are and how we communicate and plan. He is a waffle, full of separate compartments and can focus on one square at a time. I am a pancake all mixed up with thoughts here there and everywhere. But this realization opened some new doors for us and our marriage is stronger than ever.<br />
<br />
I have neglected this blog but, 2013 will be an other new adventure and I look forward to sharing it.<br />
<br />
So to all that are still there, Happy New Year!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-55845485782954123912012-09-18T19:16:00.000-05:002012-09-18T19:16:25.075-05:00A fearless rotation around the sunThere are dates on the calendar that make you navel gaze, New Year's, anniversaries and birthdays.<br />
<br />
Yesterday was my birthday and it was low key a lovely. Last year I spent my day learning to paddle board and floating in the Pacific ocean, yesterday I had a number of meetings, conference calls and dealing with a major project crisis. While I would have loved to be back floating under the palm trees, I am glad I spent my birthday at work. It has nearly been six months since I started and each day I am glad that I have an office to drive to and more importantly a pay check that magically appears every other week.<br />
<br />
My job is not perfect but, every day I learn something new. I was welcomed into the fold by my team mates and work with some smart people. But the best part was my recent review where my boss said that I am fearless that I jumped in and did not look back, that I make the job look easy even though it is not.<br />
<br />
how freaking awesome is that to be called fearless!<br />
<br />
So "fearless" is my word for this next rotation around the sun. So here I come!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-9020112586698226382012-08-06T19:47:00.001-05:002012-08-06T19:47:36.220-05:00Another summerSummer has been turning into a whirlwind and I can't complain. We have packed our weekends with BBQs, parties, girls nights out, dinner with friends and just hanging out having a few drinks with our neighbors. T and I looked at each other last week and decided that we need to make time and just sit with our feet in the sand and finally spent an afternoon on the beach!<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
While there has been the good there has been some sad, there has been some friends who have experienced loss, some illness and some loss. I have had some downs that hit me but, I had too much going on than sit and worried. As things start to wind down, I am facing a situation that I just need to face and deal with but, I have been dealing with it better this year than I would have last. While my job is not perfect, it has given me an outlet to do what I do best and I am being appreciated and complimented. Since I am not having to worry about finding a job or what it means if I don't have one, I can focus more energy on looking at things differently.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I find myself more forgiving (especially of my faults and "sins"), appreciating my family, appreciating those friends, pushing out of my comfort zone and just more accepting of fate.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I can't say how long my zen will last but, It is a good place to be right now.</div>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-81831731027637173552012-06-25T20:27:00.002-05:002012-06-25T20:27:26.641-05:00Just a peek into summerI look back at last year or last summer and this summer and I am just so happier here and now. The job is going great, I have got a number of '"good jobs" form co-workers and my boss that I feel like I am contributing to the team and the company. I am still trying to grasp it all but, I have learned that you can't see the entire picture or you will go cross eyed, you just have to break it out by sections. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am enjoying my summer a lot more even if it is just two days weekends. We have been spending time out like seeing Kevin Smith and Stephen Merchant. Or outside, eating dinner on our porch with our neighbors until it is pitch black. My little garden is looking pretty and well basically is not dead yet.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We have a lot to look forward this summer and I finally feel up for it.</div>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-63571802756710915332012-05-22T20:53:00.002-05:002012-05-22T20:53:22.050-05:00And the slow race through summer beginsWe have been having many whirlwind weekends, the kind where you can't really catch your breath. It is hard to cram so many things in a two day period. This past weekend, after talking about it for years (really two years) we finally painted our bedroom. We have been looking for the perfect for us gray and we finally found it. So in two and a half days we painted, touched up, painted the baseboards, touched up and moved most of the stuff back in. Granted we also spent time hanging out on the back porches with our neighbors and may have gone to a wine tasting event during the days too.<br />
<br />
We have accumulated so much stuff and I am in such a purge mood that not everything that was in our bedroom is back, we have a few piles in our living room of things to go through and keep or toss. I am getting a bit stressed because my house is not put back together. I feel like a mini hoarder right now. <br />
<br />
But you can only eat an elephant one bite at a time and so we will have it all done by this weekend. <br />
<br />
It is just the start of summer for us. We are planning what we want to do, concert tickets have been purchased, trip discussions are still in discussion, annual BBQ party are being planned. Plus there is always going to be time for the unexpected event that pop up.<br />
<br />
I am ready for summer<br />
<br />
Are you excited for summer, what are your plans?Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-85511137591452354162012-04-29T16:15:00.001-05:002012-04-29T16:15:43.619-05:00LovelyI was given this award from<a href="http://nonsequiturchica.blogspot.com/"> KT</a><div>
<br /><div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #4e4e4e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqj8FVSMD5rd-7_AkKvm1mqstO8UIah-1TP7Uhuyw0JfI58WSM0OM4qp86vboi-Xoweo1e9ewBgGyA76-hd19lpIlZXrrC0sRZgGW8fF1rO1Iyngm2F2CPht89mhdPCohkk2pkOg/s1600/One+Lovely+Blog+Award.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="color: #cd253a; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqj8FVSMD5rd-7_AkKvm1mqstO8UIah-1TP7Uhuyw0JfI58WSM0OM4qp86vboi-Xoweo1e9ewBgGyA76-hd19lpIlZXrrC0sRZgGW8fF1rO1Iyngm2F2CPht89mhdPCohkk2pkOg/s1600/One+Lovely+Blog+Award.jpg" style="-webkit-box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(240, 240, 240); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-color: initial; border-left-color: rgb(240, 240, 240); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(240, 240, 240); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(240, 240, 240); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; border-width: initial; box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0976563) 1px 1px 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 5px; position: relative;" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
1.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span>Share who gave you this award with a link back to their blog<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
2.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span>Write down 7 random facts about yourself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
3.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span>Give this award to 15 other bloggers.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
4.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span>Let them know they have won.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="text-indent: -0.25in;">
5.<span style="font-size: 7pt;"> </span>Pop the award on your blog.</div>
</span><br />
So as far as my 7 random facts:<br />
<br />
1-I don't eat seafood nor fish. If it lived a portion of its existence in water, I don't eat it. I had some bad experiences as a kid when it came to seafood and that colored my view. I can't stand the smell or site of fish, my husband can only make fish when I am not home and has to do his dishes before I get home. It has turned into a joke between us.<br />
<br />
2-I have never read the Twilight books, Hunger Games nor Harry Potter. The first two did not appeal to me but I do want to read Harry Potter. The reason I have not read it so far is that I have no patience to wait for new book so I wanted to read the series back to back. I plan to read the series soon, there is a particular method to the madness.<br />
<br />
3-My dream is to have a bunch of animals, not just a few more dogs or cats but I really want a pig, a pygmy goat and a mini horse. My father still tells a story about when I was about 2 they took me to a petting zoo and I fell in love with the pigs. Apparently, I cried all the way from CT to NY because I had to leave the piglets at the farm. <br />
<br />
4-I can organize other people's things but when it comes to organizing my stuff I get so overwhelmed. I have to get over that so I can re-my closet. I think I need someone else to bounce a few ideas off of to kick it into gear.<br />
<br />
5-I love to plan vacations, when we went on our honeymoon I had things planned, places to visit and areas to explore. But when we went to Hawaii both times, the planning was more laid back. We did a bunch of fun things but spent a lot of time just sitting on by the pool or beach. My family vacations were always go go go, we never had a relaxing vacation so it was hard to get used to. So we are planning vacation 2012 so many places to consider!<br />
<br />
6-My latest beauty obsession is nail polish. I have been splurging on a few colors and have been painting my nails every week. <br />
<br />
7-Since i started my job, i have started to miss hitting the gym. Granted my company has a gym but my days are hectic. On average I have three meetings a day, one day last week I had seven. So trying to find time during the day is tough. But once I get my laptop, I will have so much more flexibility!!<br />
<br />
As far as passing it on, I pass it on to you, those few that still read me. Thank you for reading over these past few years, lately i have been quieter than I used to be. So thanks for sticking by me!</div>
</div>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-55377489618337317512012-04-21T20:43:00.000-05:002012-04-21T20:43:50.530-05:00EscenciaChicago readers, what are you doing next Saturday. How about coming to see this<a href="http://www.pielmorena.org/PMCD__Piel_Morena_Contemporary_Dance.html"> amazing dance troupe preform </a>with some of their students and other dance troupes. Piel Morena will be debuting a new piece that I personally can not wait to see.<br />
<br />
The theme of the evening is what is essence? What makes essence a part of us, the human experience, as individual and as part of a culture.<br />
<br />
Tickets are only 15 dollars and can be purchased <a href="http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/231189">here</a> and if you do go, please let me know so that I can say hi! <br />
<br />
But in the meantime, how do you define essence?Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-42224104122423819542012-04-11T20:22:00.002-05:002012-04-11T20:22:59.077-05:00These past weeksIt has been a busy three weeks just getting back into the swing of things and finding a routine and the weekends have been packed with the combo of errands, chores and fun activities. <br />
<br />
These past few weeks we have been working to find the balance of work and life activities. I have been in the "get organized" mood and have been thinking up plans to get things taken care of. On top of the thins we are planning to do around the house. We finally got a screen door installed last weeks and are going to paint our bedroom and possibly the living room. So we are narrowing down the colors and the weekend in which to get it done.<br />
<br />
Working has given me such motivation to do things especially the ones that have been on the 'to-do list" for a while.<br />
<br />
It is getting exciting, I am feeling inspired. <br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-16171290309880506682012-04-02T20:09:00.001-05:002012-04-02T20:09:38.928-05:00Week oneI was so excited last week to get back into the swing of working again. I thought that I would be more nervous but really, I could not wait to get back to work. The office complex that I now work in is huge like 12 buildings huge spread out. In the summer they have a rent a bike to bike to the various offices around the campus!<br />
<br />
My new building was also a bit of a challenge to get used to and find my way from my desk to the cafeteria or the conference rooms. The first two days I got lost leaving the office and trying to find the right parking lot. Since then , I carpool with my husband since he works 10 minutes away and only have to worry about finding my way out well the days he does not work from home.<br />
<br />
Overall, I still feel like the newbie but, my team was been very welcoming, my boss has been more like a mentor than a boss and I am feeling thankful and lucky that I landed this position. The company is great, the benefits are 'slap your momma' good and I am working again and that feeling is priceless.<br />
<br />
I am ready to get my hands dirty, to learn about an entirely new industry and just go. So far my week shave been filled with meetings and training sessions, I have not had any downtime but I love that! The culture is so night and day from my last place, it is filled with positive attitude, I have not heard anyone speak bad about the company, a project or their boss. Sure they grumble about the unexpected but overall, they are happy to be there. My previous job was so plagued with negative energy and bad vibes that it would suck all happiness out of you when you walked into the office. <br />
<br />
Things are looking so much better and while it was a tough road to get here, I am glad to be here.<br />
<br />
What has made you happy lately?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-31606199015894396812012-03-26T20:01:00.000-05:002012-03-26T20:01:09.542-05:00Numbers in review50 weeks since I have been laid off<br />
25 calls to unemployment to claim my benefits<br />
25 times that I felt shame to make those calls<br />
4 the average number of hours per day that I spent looking at jobs, researching companies and applying<br />
352 days that I cursed my previous company for being stupid<br />
8 major job sites that I favored<br />
8 sessions with an amazing career counselor<br />
3 beasts that shared my days and forced me up early each and every day<br />
Over 8 million Americans without jobs<br />
1 recurring dream that I kept getting laid off<br />
Countless tears of frustrations, anger, disappointment and sadness<br />
4 Times I have been told I was a top candidate after an interview<br />
98 minutes a one way commute to Milwaukee for an interview<br />
15 minutes a one way commute to an interview in Chicago<br />
17 pounds lost<br />
1 Husband who was such a support while carrying a burden on his shoulder<br />
2 families who were rooting for me<br />
Too many to count friends who let me vent, made me laugh took me out for a cup of coffee, skyped, IM and hoped for and with me<br />
<br />
18 days ago that I got an amazing job offer<br />
1 great job landed<br />
1st day of work under my belt<br />
<br />
and now I can breath<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-65294477488899972172012-03-05T17:44:00.000-06:002012-03-05T17:44:05.969-06:00Testing 1-2-3Time is just moving by and it has been a while since I had the urge to write something. Things are on a bit of an upswing for me. While I am still not working, I have had some momentum and some balls in the air. This has helped pull me out of "the sads"* and has given me a new dose of energy that is propelling me forward.<br />
<br />
I have been keeping busy as a new board member for a local non-for profit. It is a dance company that my neighbor founded and I have been to a number of their shows and was so impressed and moved by their dances and shows that I was honored to be asked to be part of their board. So, I am learning the ropes of grant research and writing and fundraising. It has kept me busy and my skills sharp. The next show is in April and there is so much to work on.<br />
<br />
There have been some disappointing bits as well. I have lost something with some friends, it is hard to say what that something is because I really can't put my finger on it. At the core of it, communication must have broken down. I am at a bit of a loss of what to do next. A few good friends have put it in perspective and as one said "Priorities shift" and perhaps that is it. Perhaps it is because it appears that I don't have the resources to participate in activities that we used to or perhaps it is another reason. All I know is that I have put it out there and we shall see how things pan out.<br />
<br />
What is new with you?<br />
<br />
<br />Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-88340864276270161422012-01-27T11:14:00.002-06:002012-01-27T11:14:31.698-06:00Still here?I do We-Verb then disappear for almost a month. Part of it was holiday recovery, part of it was due to some disappointing news, part of it was because I was fighting with the insurance company and part of it was I had other things to focus on.<br />
<br />
The job that I alluded to in December is on hold. I got the news before the new year and it shook me up. Thus began the whole process over again with a bit more tears, frustration and self-doubt. Right now, I am falling down the proverbial rabbit hole. My stress level is high, I am constantly worried and frustrated, I am hard on myself and internally saying horrible things.<br />
<br />
This is one situation that I can't control and even though I focus on good, it is this fear that can stop me in my tracks. I hate this so much.Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-20575783064234844742011-12-31T10:53:00.001-06:002011-12-31T10:53:02.582-06:00#31 Forsee<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Where do you hope to be on Jan 1, 2013?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Sometimes I do wish that I had a crystal ball to see what will happen but, life is an adventure. But there are a few things that I can say that will probably be true this time in 2012. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I hope to focus on being happy, to be in a meaningful job, to continues on working towards a happy and positive relationship with my husband. I would love to travel and see friends and family more than I did this year. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">It is really the simple just focus on the small things that mean so much. Cheesy yes, but it is the way that I want to look at things.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">So as this is the last Weverb11, I want to thank those who were on this adventure with me. I met some amazing bloggers that I plan to continue to peek in. Special thanks to the regular readers who also provided support as I did this challenge.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I wish you all a very Happy and Healthy New Year!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.weverb11.com/"><img src="http://www.weverb11.com/wp-content/images/WEverb_Button1_125x125.jpg" style="border: 0;" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-46136924329615172972011-12-30T10:47:00.002-06:002011-12-30T10:48:50.530-06:00#30 Meditate<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Were you happy with who you were in 2011? Who do you want to be in 2012 and beyond?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Yes and no. This year consisted of a number of pity parties, feeling sad, useless and unwanted mostly due to the unemployment and some outside factors. I tend to see the proverbial glass as half empty so that feeds into the way that I see myself. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">A few months ago, I just had to get out of that mind set, so I started to think of a few things that make me happy and thankful. It helped me pull out of a rut and focus on what I do have rather than what I don't have.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">In 2012, I want to work on seeing the glass as half full and to be nicer to myself. It is a work in progress for sure</span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.weverb11.com/"><img src="http://www.weverb11.com/wp-content/images/WEverb_Button1_125x125.jpg" style="border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-top-width: 0px;" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-51113526698225080902011-12-29T10:49:00.000-06:002011-12-29T10:53:21.885-06:00#29 Gush<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Begin to create a plan for “My friends day out 2012″ – tell us what you envision</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">When I saw this prompt, I thought of one person my friends who lives in NYC. While I can say it would be so much fun to heal to NOLA or Miami or even Vegas the reality is simpler. There is a good possibility that I will have to have some medical procedures in 2012 and my good friend has already told me that she is coming in to hang out during the recovery. So while we will spend time in Chicago before, afterwards it will just be movies in our sweats. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">If I don't need the procedures then maybe we can think big. We all just want to hang out and laugh!</span></span>
<a href="http://www.weverb11.com/"><img src="http://www.weverb11.com/wp-content/images/WEverb_Button1_125x125.jpg" style="border: 0;" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-41320782134932693852011-12-29T10:41:00.002-06:002011-12-29T10:41:50.335-06:00#28 Pay it Forward<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Describe a random act of kindness that you benefited from in 2011. How will you pay it forward in 2012?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Earlier in the year, a pin fell off of my watch. So I went to a local jeweler and they put a new pin in, the charge was $5. I handed him my debit card but their machine broke, so he said just take it and enjoy (even after I offered to go to the ATM). I now have a place where I will support when jewelry needs to be fixed. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I try to pay it forward it can be the simplest thing from holding open a door. I also pick up things that have fallen in stores, if you have a few things at the grocery store I will let you in front of me. I hope to be able to buy someone's coffee behind me at the drive thru though</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">.</span>
<a href="http://www.weverb11.com/"><img src="http://www.weverb11.com/wp-content/images/WEverb_Button1_125x125.jpg" style="border: 0;" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25969859.post-67473640079881666052011-12-27T15:44:00.000-06:002011-12-27T15:44:16.807-06:00#27 Spend<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Where did your money go this year? Where do you want it to go in 2012?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">We were cautious with money this year and only plurged on a new bedroom set in the beginning of 2011. We saved a bit and only bought essentials like food, gas, pet food and necessary items. The end of the year had us hitting some sales and getting a new living room couch and chair. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">Having garage sale brought in a bit of cash that was used as vacation fun money.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">For 2012, we want to save, save, save. We also want to invents in our condo and are looking to add a humidifier, a screen door, paint for our bedroom and possibly refinish the floors. But, they can be done in stages and none of it is essential. The rest will be added to our saving account to build it up. We have goal in mind for 2012 and we hope to meet it!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #454545; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span>
<a href="http://www.weverb11.com/"><img src="http://www.weverb11.com/wp-content/images/WEverb_Button1_125x125.jpg" style="border: 0;" /></a>Christinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16529332213918532369noreply@blogger.com1