"waiting to die"~ the drama has begun

So tomorrow the BF and I are heading out to the big apple for my brother's wedding.

I have been lucky to be over 700 miles away so I have been spared witnessing most of the drama but I have heard my fair share. So this week it has really ramped up. My mother is a ball of nerves and stress, my dad is stress by default and tomorrow morning I get to be in the midst of the craziness. Here are some highlights:

-My elderly aunt and uncle are on again-off again coming to the rehearsal dinner/the wedding. As of today he told my aunt he is not going because he is waiting to die. My aunt is looking forward to meeting my BF so we HAVE to go to their house for dinner tomorrow. How should I introduce the BF to the uncle..."Here is my uncle but don't bother him, he is waiting to die"? Talk about drama! During the dinner, she will criticize me in a thick accent, "What you no eat, you no like my food, I cook all day for you and you no eat, you and you're too skinny. I cook all
day and you don't eat!" then mutter to herself in Spanish basically criticizing me.

-said uncle and aunt were going to tailor my bridesmaid dress (they were both professional tailors in their heyday) but they have a doctor appt tomorrow and it is a huge deal as it takes them forever to get there and back. So fine, my mom found another tailor near the house but we have to go there as soon as I get to my moms house! I mean as soon as possible.

-I am getting my hair done for the wedding but since I am not sure what I want, my mom insists that I get a trial run before the rehearsal dinner. So God forbid if I don't go, all hell will break loose.

-I have two aunts in from South America and they have been doing some shopping. According to my dad "I've nerve seen so many bags from the Christmas tree shop in my life! And the shoes, they have bought so many shoes! Gawd almighty!" One of my aunts has to get a dress for the wedding and according to my mom, has no concept of a time crunch. So poor mom has been all over the place to find a dress that has to be fuchsia or deep purple, my aunt has the concept of "we'll do it tomorrow" down much to my mom's last nerve

-The bride's mother has decided not to attend, the bride is coping but I suspect not well

-I told my mom to seat me near the bar....

Welcome to the loony bin!