Thursday, May 20, 2010

Not quite myself

I am feeling "off" lately. It is a mixture of feeling unappreciated, underwhelmed, tired, helpless frustrated, anti-social and stressed.

The frustrated, helpless and stressed feelings I can dive deeper into I know why I am feeling this way, I know the causes but unfortunatly there is no quick fix. It is a daily reminder of "Hi, here is your life now, here is the life you want and there is no way at this time to bridge the gap" My life is not that bad at all, I know that. I am quite fortunate in many respects but, there are things that I want (not necessary material goods although a Mac book with be nice) and I know that I can't get them. It is just beating me up.

Tired well that is due to the lack of a full nights sleep. I tend to wake up at least once during the night. The cat likes to scratch the door at the wee hours for attention or he decides to be sick at 3:14 am. Or the thunder wakes me up or I am too hot/too cold or I had a nightmare, or a siren goes off etc.

All of this makes me just want to hibernate and hide and try to figure my way out of this funk. I just don't know how.

Note: This is not a reflection of my marriage. I am very lucky to have my husband for so many reasons.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Putting away the suitcases

We got back yesterday from our weekend in NY. It was one of those trips that we did not plan to do anything. We both had to plug into the office on Friday so we stayed near my parent's house. My friend, her husband and her cute baby came up to visit we along with my dad and brother. I was able to satisfy my pizza requirements and it was a lot of fun catching up. We both new that the baptism would be crazy and when there is a baby as good and cute as Baby V, you will get no baby time.

We spent Saturday at the zoo and just strolled around the park. We had a good time and as my Hubs puts it, "the residents were lovely it was the visitors that were not". It was so true, some parents and kids were just out of control.

My dad took us out for Portuguese food that evening and it was so good. Hubs is determined to find a Portuguese restaurant in Chicago, any ideas?

Sunday we headed to Staten Island for the christening*. And on the way we went through all 5 bouroughs, one was not on purpose! We crossed 7 bridges round trip (two not on purpose). But ithe whole ceremony and party were worth it. Baby V was so well behaved she slept through most of it and at the part was passed around. She would just sit on you lap and look around. I tried but she would not fit in my purse. But she is going to come with her mom to visit us soon! WE were able to catch up with some friends and make news ones.

One of the people at our table is a filmmaker and my friends business partner. Their short file has been shown in 4 film festivals so far and has gotten some great reviews. He was very interesting to talk to! They are busy with four more films that they are hoping to work through this year.

Yesterday we came back to Chi town to tow very excited dogs and a pleased cat. It was good to be home and share a bed again. My parents ave kept my room and my brother's the same, with one twin bed so Hubs and I had our own room!

*I did wear my black dress but paired it up with my hot pink shoes and a hot pink flower pin. It looked great!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010


In a few weeks, Hubs and I are heading to the big apple to attend the christening of my best friend's baby. This is her first and she loves being a mom. She was my matron of honor and we joked that it was good she chose an empire waist dress since she was 8 weeks pregnant then. Her biggest regret was not having champagne at the wedding so we will be bringing her a bottle.

Her daughter was born in February during the worst snow storm of the winter and I was one of the few people that they called an hour after the birth. I have been given the title of Aunt.

Needlessness to say, we can't wait to go.

I have a question though, is it appropriate to wear a black dress for a christening? I would wear it with pink heels.

So what are your thoughts?

Monday, May 03, 2010

Hoping for a harvest

We spent our weekend doing the typical one day of errands and second day of chores. The bathroom and back deck are spotless, The floors cleaned (Until tonight when Yukon's shedding form fur tumble weeds) and an outright avoidance of the room that really needs attention...the office. We have too much stuff there, paper, desks random stuff. We need to get rid of most of it. We have two tables that we use as desks and then we have 4 bookshelves we realized that they take up too much space and that room is suffocating. So we are trying to think of a way to reduce clutter and open it up. Any ideas?

We planted our tiny deck box. We decided on basil, strawberries and stevia. While we know the basil will grow, we are wondering how the rest of the two will do. It is an experiement. Last year we did not have a deck box garden because of the stress surrounding the wedding. So this year, I wanted to have one. I wish we had a little patch of soil to work on because I would love to grow tomatoes and cucumbers with a few more herbs. But we will make do with what we got.

There has been some passive aggressive behaviour that is affecting our condo and last night we were in the middle of it. As with most condos, noise is an issue especailly if you have back decks, a few friends, a few drinks and open windows. One neighbor sent out a snotty, insult filled request for parties to be done by 10. This said neighbor has been the author of a number of these types of emails, he has this huge sense of entitlement and has not made any effort to come to any condo meetings. So the emails and insults continue.

Last night, many neighbors decided to rebel against this tenent by holding an impromptu drink/ bbq session, under our bedroom window. Normally, we do not mnid but the smoke, noise and unleashed dogs were getting a bit out of hand. Thankfully a few neighbors approached us and told us to let them know when we need them to quiet down. I said as long as they wrap up at 10 we are good and they did.

Communication is key but, I suspect that this type of passive aggressiveness is going to be a shot across the bow and we expect a few more rounds in this battle. We want a house.