Thursday, April 28, 2011

The Greater Good

Sometime we have to take one for the team for the potential of the "greater good" and for me that sometimes is now. I am not pleased with something that is going on and yesterday I had a huge vent about it with Hubs. It was filled with sadness, anger, frustration and self pity something everyone wants to come home with. But it is something that I *have* to do if only for a possible shot at reaching a goal.

After my meltdown, I picked myself up and will move on. My new reality is just forming a new habit and it is something that I will get used to doing but not liking.

I just want some good to happen. Some good news, some happy news about anything, I am tired of all the bad crap that has been going on lately with the job, the funeral, the weather and some other crap. So I am trying to find the good in baby steps, a dose of sunshine, my puppies, my new and improved sunroom filled with plants.

All I want is some good to happen. Tell me something good maybe it will rub off on me.

(I do apologize for the vagueness of what is going on but, I really don't want to go into the details right now it is a self preservation thing>)

Monday, April 18, 2011


I am coming to realize that I am entering a strange part of my life at this point in time. While friends are getting married, having babies they are also dealing with sick parents and ultimately death. The media has coined the phrase "the bookend" generation, to describe those who are taking care of their kids and their parents.

Late last week, my sister in law lost her father, it was both unexpected and tragic. He was a very nice guy and he loved his family and his new grandbabies. This loss has shaken both Hubs and I because it made us realize that we will be in that same boat one day. Hubs lost his mother a number of years before we met and had some experience empathizing in a different way than I. Yet, the two of us realize that as we are getting old so are our parents. Since I only see my mom and dad a few times a year, I am often struck about how much older they look each time that I see them. My father in law also is getting older and has started to mention that his eye sight i getting weaker. It is not easy to see, in fact, I try to deny that it i happening even though I know it can't be denied.

I have a number of friends who have lost one or both their parents. It amazes me how they were able to deal with that because it can't be an easy thing. I know that my dearest friend still has issues about that and it comes bubbling up at different points where it leaves her in tears.

Basically, I am thinking (or maybe preparing) myself for the eventual day where decisions have to be made, decisions that I don't want to be made (thankfully they are decisions that all our parents have made via their wills).

I guess it is making me feel more grown up than I want to be.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Making the best of it

It has been a bit strange to be not working. At first it felt like I had a day or two off. I was productive and got things around the house done and they as the week progressed it got weird, it hit me that I did not have a job to go back to. I have slowly been getting used to the new (abet temporary) reality.

The main thing that is keeping me on schedule is getting up early in the morning, walking the dogs, applying for jobs, running errands, going to the gym. I have to make it a point to actually get out of the house rain or shine. Otherwise, I find myself just sitting at home wasting time. I have my to do list and am ploughing my way through it and now that the weather has improved there are a lot of seasonal projects popping up.

This morning I had an interview with a recruiter and I have been telling friends, family and neighbors that I am looking for a job. I am also shopping to updated interview clothes. I have not found too much, possibly because I am not sure what one wears to interviews anymore. What do you think would work?

I think that this is a way that the universe is telling met o chill out but, I am a bit any to start working again.

Monday, April 04, 2011

The cage is open and I am ready to fly

So as I alluded to in previous posts I was wondering what was happening to my job and now it is over.

I was laid off today.

And I am ok (so far), it is a kind of relief I am no longer waiting to see what was going to happen. I am no longer jumpy every time my phone rang or got an email notice. It is going to be so weird not having job to go to tomorrow morning after all I have been working since I graduated college.

Hubs thinks that this is a great thing and that good things that will happen. He, my family and some friends are thinking that I will find another job that will appreciate me and my skills. So I have polished up my resume and am looking at networking opportunities. (If anyone knows a good headhunter/recruiter let me know.)

Tomorrow I plan on getting some things organized and I have a long list of things to do at home and classes at the gym that I want to take advantage of.

So sure I am a bit freaked out but, there will be good things happening. I got plans, I will be ok...all will be well.

Fingers crossed.