Monday, July 25, 2011

Riding the wave

Two weeks ago, I had four interviews, four. Two with recruiters and two with actual companies, I felt so positive and hopeful.

Out of those four turned into something but, it has left a bitter taste in my mouth. The recruiter's minion called me a day after the interview and asked what I t bought. I said that I was not too happy with the pay and the job is not really what I want to do. But, I was willing to speak to the client to see if maybe they could better describe it. This assistant just went from nice to rude in seconds. She starts saying that obviously I am not serious about my job search, that I may never have another opportunity like this again, how do I like not working etc?

My mouth hit the floor and I was just so pissed off. I kept my cool, corrected many of her assumptions and stood my ground. I was just so turned off by her and at the company.

Ironically, they met my salary requests and I have an interview with the client on Wednesday. One thing remains and it is the fact that the position is not what I want to do. It is what I did years ago and got burned out on. It is the reason I got my M.B.A, to get out of that dead end job. I did it, I was great at it but I don't want to do it again.

So now I am on the fence (assuming I get an offer) do I take it or not. Sure I can take it and keep looking but at the same time, I know that it will suck the life out of me. There is no way around that. I will be so unhappy doing it and I don't want to be stuck. Sure it may lead to different positions and up the chain but, I want to project manage. I love that and this position is not it not even close. Plus, I get paid hourly with no sick, holiday, vacation pay.

I am trying not to get ahead of myself but, I am so confused. My husband is supportive if I want the job or not but I see his panic when we talk about what happens in a few months. We'll be ok but it will be hard, we will have to scrimp more and cut more things out.

But is it worth my mental well being? I guess everything has a price. I am having nightmares, I am panicking, I am going though books, CDs, clothes to see if I can sell them.

I hate this ride so much, I want it to end. I want this to be okay. I just hate this!


KT said...

Oh boy this is difficult. Do you take the job that you know will make you unhappy but that has a steady paycheck or do you refuse the offer and keep looking for a job that you are going to like? That is really tough. I don't really have any advice for you since I currently hate my job right now too.

I guess I am the type of person that would rather stick it out with something that they hate while looking for something better because at least you have money coming in. But that's just me.

What does Hubs think?

Christina said...

@KT Yea that is what I am leaning to as far as making that decision. We'll see if there is an offer.

Hubs has been oohing but supportive and will support my decision. Thank goodness for him.