Friday, January 27, 2012

Still here?

I do We-Verb then disappear for almost a month.  Part of it was holiday recovery, part of it was due to some disappointing news, part of it was because I was fighting with the insurance company and part of it was I had other things to focus on.

The job that I alluded to in December is on hold.  I got the news before the new year and it shook me up.  Thus began the whole process over again with a bit more tears, frustration and self-doubt.  Right now, I am falling down the proverbial rabbit hole.  My stress level is high, I am constantly worried and frustrated, I am hard on myself and internally saying horrible things.

This is one situation that I can't control and even though I focus on good, it is this fear that can stop me in my tracks.  I hate this so much.

6 comments:

kilax said...

I wish there was something I could say to help! Does talking to your husband help you feel better?

Christina said...

@kilax, thank you so much. Yep T has been a great sounding board but I think he is tired of hearing it just as much as I am tired of talking about it. But he has been wonderful

KT said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about the job. That has got to be so frustrating! How long is it on hold?

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

This space is here for when you want to use it. There is no pressure or expectation to make use of it at any other time. Hope you're not hard on yourself for not blogging, because we all understand.

Hang in there. Everyday is a new start with new possibility. You'll find something - even though it's going to take a little more time.

Christina said...

@KT- It is hard to say, it has been a holding pattern. They did not say the job was closed and not going to happen but they have not said that it will happen either.

Christina said...

@Nilsa-Thank you for your words of encouragement, they mean a lot!