Wednesday, February 24, 2010

How did I get here?

Last week, this lovely blogger asked me a question " I would love to hear more about your old life in NYC and how you ended up in Chicago!"

So picture this, early 2002 in NY a 20 something woman happily moving though life. It was like the stars aligned, I was in a happy relationship, I had just moved into my first apartment in Brooklyn with my best friend and work was decent despite a lot of turmoil.

Then it all fell apart, one by one. My boyfriend broke up with me via VM while I was away at a wedding in Scotland. (this was before the even classier move of breaking up via text). We were together for almost a year and a half and this came as quite a shock. I was devastated, I became a shell of my formers self. I just got up went to work, came home and went to bed. During that time I lost 15 lbs by not eating because I was not interested in food.

My best friend got seriously involved with her boyfriend and it just added salt to the wound to see how happy they were together while I was miserable. Then they got engaged on what would have been my anniversary. So I was a mess.

Then my job took an unexpected turn. The VP of my division decided he did not want to be bothered with managing my team so he turned us over to another VP who decided that we were of no use to the company in Manhattan so we had to move to the operations facility in Long Island or get laid off. Fun hun?

I am not a fan of Long Island and never wanted to commute to that office. It was, to put it nicely, a dump. Nor did I want to get laid off, I have a huge fear of not having a job even if I hated it, I am fearful of what would happen if I did not have one.

Prior to this news, I was realizing that I needed to make a change in my live, in my environment. My apt was filled with ghosts of memories and I was stuck in a rut that I knew if I remained there, it would really do more damage than it has already bestowed. During this time of reflection, I was sent out to California to visit a client of mine (known for their couch jumping celebrity spokesperson) and I got to stay in Santa Monica. I fell in love with the town, the idea that it was warm and that the Pacific ocean was different. I decided that I wanted to move to California.

Then my job situation became undone. So California was not a possibility now because I would not be able to move so quickly without money. But a new opportunity opened up for me. My company had an office just outside of Chicago and I asked if I could be transferred there. To my surprise, they were delighted and did everything possible to get me out here. I must say, I negotiated a very sweet deal.

So in August of 2003, I moved to Chicago. I had my own apartment, a new car and only one person who I knew. It was hard, very hard. There were a lot of days when I got home and just cried. I shook my life up for sure but, I was not sure if this was what I wanted or if this is where I wanted to be. But then I slowly made friends at work. I forced myself out of my apartment and took flamenco dance classes. I even joined a dating site to get myself out (whole other blog post).

And I began to blog.

Now the move that was only suppose to last a year has turned into almost 7. I met my husband here, I have met some great friends here and one of my good friends from college moved out here a year and half after I did.

It was a hard road to get where I am but, I had to challenge myself, I had to make it happen I had to survive...and I did.

What about you, what have you done to shake up your world?


Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

Thanks for sharing your history. It helps put the pieces of your puzzle together!

kilax said...

Wow! Thanks for sharing your story! You are so brave to make a move like that on your own! My husband came out here in summer of 2003 by himself too. Chicago can be a great place to move to as a "newbie" but it is still intimidating!

Can't wait to read the dating site post :)

Non Sequitur Chica said...

After a hard breakup when I lived in Philly, I shook up my world and moved to Chicago. I didn't really know anyone but through sports leagues and groups on the Internet, I made some great friends that I still have to this day. :-)

comebacknikki said...

Wow, girl -- I didn't know the full extent of your moving story before. That really sucks (break-up over VM?!? UGH!)... I'm so glad you were able to come through and move into a better phase of your life!