Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Not making the cut

So for the past few weeks, the BF and I have been updating our invite list for the upcoming nuptials. We have been correcting addresses, adding people and subtracting people. In the end, we have a substantial list that we are satisfied with. Most are friends and family and a few are co-workers. We have talked about who to invite and worked it out with the families to ensure that some of their friends are invited.

But our main rule was that one of us had to know the person who will be on the list. We did not want to invite people we had no idea who they were but that our parents knew from work, the grocery store etc.

Well, last week while I was in the land of guidos and speedos, one of the sales team was having a meeting. Since I was in CS I knew some of them. I bumped into one of my sales reps who I go back 9 years with so she and I were chatting. When I went to another part of the office I was accosted by a sales rep who I had some minor dealings with as a rep and he is extremely chatty. When we parted and as I was walking to the room I was using, he mentioned how he is looking forward to getting the invitation.

My mouth fell open. What do you say? He was not on the list, nor will he be put on the list. But what do you say at that point. I opted for the non-committal laugh and turned and walked away. Even if I worked with him for years he would not be on my list.

Now some of my friends from high school who I lost touch with and haven't seen in at least 6 or 7 years are out of the woodwork. There is one whose parents are on our invite list (at the insistence of my parents because they have been invited to all their kids weddings). However, she is not on the list. If I haven't seen nor spoken to you in about 6 years, you are not invited. The other friend I haven't seen in a number of years but we talk once or twice a year. She left me a message yesterday saying how she knew I was engaged and wanted to know when the wedding was (I suspect to make plans to attend). But she was not on our list.

I am not adding any more people.

What do you do. How do you tell people that you are not making the cut!


SoMi's Nilsa said...

That is REALLY tough. Been there. Done that. I'd just tell people that our wedding is on the small(er) side (which it was) and we had lots of limits in terms of who we could invite. For work people, it was easy - other than my two bosses, I didn't invite anyone. If you can't say something to their face, maybe you can drop them an email. Or ask mutual friends to relay your constraints?

Non Sequitur Chica said...

Yeah you can't please everybody because weddings are expensive. Don't feel bad about people not making the cut. I agree with Nilsa- tell them it is a smaller wedding and everyone couldn't be invited. Maybe tell them that you will share pictures with them afterwards or something?

comebacknikki said...

I cannot believe the audacity of some people! Seriously!

Non Sequitur Chica said...

I saw your comment about flowers for your wedding....I didn't really know what I wanted either. However, my fiance and I had a great feeling about our florist- not only did she have amazing stuff on display at the bridal show but she also had great pictures on her website of past work. Just do some research, looking at pictures of potential florists and you will get a sense of what you will want. :-)

Molly said...

This was a very NOT fun part of the planning for us. We had a general rule too that if we hadn't spoken to/seen them in x amount of years they didn't make the cut.

Most people understood when we said due to venue size and budgetary restraints we had to keep our guest list at a minimum. Hope that helps!

Christina said...

Thanks you!!

All of you guys are awesome. This is why I love blogs.

NSC-I found a few design concepts that I like online, one in particular but since I love flowers it is hard to narrow things down. Plus I want it to match the season.

I just need to start the finding a florist task.

Diana said...

Tell 'em to suck it. :) Or I'll tell 'em for you. :)

Colleen said...

My friend was JUST saying this is her biggest planning dilemma! (and, I am tempted to say about that colleague, "how rude!")