New fall activities

So there have been a few things that have been happening since the weather changed

-I took a candy making class with CBN and Diana, we made truffles, turtles, toffee and peppermint bark. I have not made candy before so it was a lot of fun and I have some great holiday gifts ideas not too mention tons of candy at home.

-Since getting married, I have acquired 5 nieces and 1 nephew and during the fall come the "our kids are raising money for their school" emails. So the Hubs and I set a cash limit and will be purchasing something from each set of kids.

-The fall catalogs have started to come in making me lust for clothes and shoes. I looked at them, drooled and tossed them in the recycle bin. No new things this year.

-The days are getting shorter and that means I leave and come home at dawn and dusk. Getting up in the morning is harder without the sun.

-We've decided to try one new recipe a week for the next few weeks (to start off with). So far this week I made quiche Lorraine (amazing) and the Hubs made chocolate Carmel donut holes. tonight I am making saffron and potato garlic soup!

-I am in a weird state of mind and I am trying to sort things out. In a way, I feel very alone and isolated, like I don't belong in certain situations and I am sort of giving up in trying to belong (there is no use in forcing my way in parts where it is starting to become obvious that I am not a part of). It is something that I am trying to figure out and it frankly sucks. I can't really talk about because it is so complex and people will think it is stupid and I have been extremely hard on myself. I want to be out of this hole but can't see the light just yet and I have to be careful not to be sucked into my own self pity party. Not going so well....

This has nothing to do with my marriage!!! He has been such a support during this time, he has watched me become more negative and self deprecating and tries to pull me up but, it is me who has to realize a few things rather than take things at face value. But it has been hard.

I am trying, I am trying...

Fighting the bugs

I think I am coming down with something. I get these weird shooting pains in the back of my head and my ears. Then I feel "cold" in my chest and after that...a cold begins.

It means that I will have some soup for lunch, keep hydrated and hopefully fend off this bug with out a trail of tissues.

What are your "getting a cold" symptoms and your "Cures"?

pieces

Just the bits of what has been going on…

-Have been reading voraciously. I currently have two books going at once. Hubs gave me a Kindle for my wedding gift and I have been reading every night. currently reading "My Life in Paris" by Julia Child. She is a remarkable person and has such a classic love story and relationship with her husband Paul. It makes me want to move to Paris.

-For my birthday last week, Hubs gave me the ubiquitous cookbook "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" by Julia Childs. We've been talking nonstop about her since we were in Paris then saw "Julie and Julia". Her recipes are copy written so they are not on line. But I really like the way she writes and I am planning on making a few dishes. Anyone interested in a dinner pot luck at my house (seriously)….Can we say Camembert soufflé?

-I have decided months ago that this fall, I will make beef stock. As God is my witness, I will make it.

-The past few nights, I have been beading. I haven't uploaded any photos because I need to create a light box since the photos are not coming out well. It is on my to do list. I also need to buy more beads but I have to wait a few weeks to do that!

-We are 98% done with our Thank you notes. We errr I have to buy stamps.

Mojo

I feel like I lost my mojo when it comes to writing and blogging. My life is ordinary and there has not been much excitement since the wedding. The Hubs and I are back in our routine work, come home, walk dog, make dinner, eat, watch TV or read, bed….rinse and repeat. Our weekends have pretty much been full of errands and chores.

There has been little chaos, little drama as of late and while that in and of itself is blissful, it is also a wee bit boring. I love hanging out with Hubs and being his wife. Things just slowed up, that is the way that it is.

Other than starting the process of changing my name, nothing glam or exciting has happened in the past few days.

Lazy and energy

I have been falling off the wagons….the gym wagon, the blog wagon, the bead wagon. It just seems that I am tired, my body is tired and sometimes I just want to veg out in front of the tube. I think that it means that I need me time. At the same time, I want to get back into the activities that I enjoy.

Regardless, I do force myself out especially if I have prior commitments. So Sunday the Hubs and I went to see U2. It was utterly amazing, the set, the songs the vibe. It was one concert that I did not want to end. It is one of my top concerts that I have ever seen!

Last night, I went to Shecky's girls night out with CBN and J9. We had a lot of fun and the few drinks were loaded, so it took me just one drink and I was done. During the evening, J9 mentioned acupuncture and the energy she gets from it. So I may look into that. I just am not feeling fully charged (no I am not pregnant) but I think part of that is the lack of sleep. My cat has a bad habit of scratching my closet to illicit a response and it wakes me up every single time. I have bought a spray that seems to be working but, from weeks of interrupted sleep takes its toll!

Does anyone have experience with acupuncture to share?

It was a beautiful day

It was a beautiful day in NYC, blue sky with a few wisps of clouds.

I took the train into the city as per usual, but I was by myself. Dad had to go to a funeral and would be on a later train.

Instead of heading to my office , I went to my doctor's office.
It was there that I heard whispers "Planes….World Trade Center"
It was in my doctor's office when he came in and told me what happened.

I had to head to mid-town, the subways were empty as they passed by, finally one stopped
I headed to Herald Square and walked towards 5th
My cell phone did not work

It was on 34th and 5th that I saw tower 1 fall
It was there that traffic stopped…the world stopped
It was there that I heard silence and screams in a matter of seconds
It was there that the woman standing next to me fell on her knees and the man next to me started to cry
All in front of the Empire State Building…the tallest building on that island.

I ran across the street that was motionless to my office a few doors down

I walked in and all my co-workers were on the phone and watching the TV.
We had only 5 working lines
I had 7 messages on my phone
My friend could not find her husband, an NYPD officer
My co-worker could not get in touch with her friends that worked downtown
My other co-worker remembered that his cousin was in the building

It was there when I called my mom and finally got her
I was in the office when I heard her say "Your father went in to the office after the first plane hit, he has to check on his staff"
A few moments later "Tower two fell
My dad worked in tower two.

My VP walked out and told us that he was leaving the city and we all could go
My boss and I went to Grand Central to find it closed with police all around
"Harlem", I said," we have to make it to Harlem"

We took a bus to Harlem
It was packed, people wanted out of the city
People were crying
People in private cars, pulled over and let pedestrians into their cars
Strangers were crying and hugging each other on the streets
People just stopped to stare

There was the train at Harlem to take me home
It was standing room only
People in the vestibule were listening to the radio
We heard….Pentagon…plane down in Pennsylvania….terror….World Trade Center
I got home at around 2:13 in the afternoon
We had 21 messages on our answering machine.

The phone rang within minutes of me getting home
My aunt began to cry when she heard my voice

I turned on the TV and paced
I was in shock
I called my friends who I knew had family and loved ones in that area
I took messages for my mom
I had no idea where my dad was

A half hour later, he walked through the door, slightly covered in some dust

For 100 days there was dust, smoke and a smell that you can't ever get out of your skin and to this day, the memory burns my nose
Sirens were a constant but when it reached a certain pitch, I began to shake still

It was like a dream, a bad dream
The stories came pouring out with the tears, some of luck others of misfortune
My friend's sister was ok
My friends husband was at fashion week in Bryant Park so he was not patrolling downtown
My other co-worker lost 5 friends and spend days looking for her former fiancée in all the area hospitals… she found him a few days later with short term memory loss
My co-worker's cousin was found alive and was the last one of the survivors to leave the hospital

But there were people who lost their spouse, partner, friend, child, parent
Pets lost their mom and dads

I have not worn the beige blazer that I had on that day ever again.

But that is all I remember.

Note-I have been meaning to write this for many years but this is the first time that I put it all in writing. I still mourn for my city, it was never the same.

How does it feel

Yesterday, I was talking to a colleague who works out in the East coast. He has been in our international office for a few months and now he is back in the US and we are planning a project together. He sent me an email and congratulated me on my marriage and during the course of the conversation, I brought up "my husband" (specifically, "My husband has me drinking peach lambec since I miss cider").

He asked me if being married and referring to Hubs as my "husband" feels different. I did not have to take long to answer.

Hubs and I have been together for over three years and lived together for over two. So, we did not go through the traditional moving in together. when we first moved in together it was a bit of an eye opening experience and it took some time to adjust to the small things but now we are so used to it. We are relatively low maintenance sometimes a good home cooked meal and a DVD is all we need.

One thing that seemed to shift was our priorities. We now are more focused on our future and our family. Our priorities are aligned better and we both are making some sacrifice to reach our goals. We are working hard on reducing our collective debt and trying to find ways to enrich ourselves together as well as individually. We have not lost our independence and we both support it.

I guess it is because he is the missing puzzle piece, the yang to my yin but being with him as his girlfriend, fiancee or wife is uncomplicated and that makes it easy.

What about you, did you feel different when you reached a milestone in your relationship?

Just a homebody

This weekend was wonderful because there was no crazy running around, no places that we had to be and no trips to the burbs. We stayed in town and did some things that we have been meaning to do. We hit Target and did some grocery shopping. We hung up (OK the husband did the actual hanging but I helped) some Pen and Ink monograms that I got the Hubs as his wedding present and cleaned up!

The two highlights were taking a wire and bead class with Diana We spent a few hours learning how to make earrings using different wire techniques. Then we went shopping and bought beads. I have made two earrings so far (not including the four that I made in class) and have to stop myself because otherwise I will be at the craft stores non-stop and we want to get out of debt so we are watching every penny. Diana and I had so much fun though and are going to take a necklace class next month. I think we have found a new creative outlet.

The second highlight was making these short ribs. For the past few weeks, I have been craving short ribs and asked Restaurant Refugee for a recipe so he posted this one. It was so good, the beef melted in your mouth and the bones fell out when I picked them up. We have enough for one more meal and I am saving the bones for my fall project when I attempt beef stock.

I had a great weekend very low key, uneventful and fun. I had a great time with my girl Diana and it was nice to spend some time at home with our NetFlix account.

So what were your two highlights?

A teaser

We are just waiting for the disk of our photos....I hope to have some up next week

Have a good weekend, what are you looking forward to?

The "D" word (nope not THAT "D" word)

One month has flown by, it is hard to believe that a month ago we were getting ready to have our wedding. Now we are settling into our married life together. Hubs and I have lived together for more than two years, so we are used to each other and our habits. But now it seems we are more cognizant of our own habits and more diligent about doing small things to make the other person happy. They are really small things but, they do add up.

We are in debt due to the wedding, not a great deal but still in some debt. It freaks me out the "d" word up until now, I have always paid the balance off on my credit card. This last payment, I could not. It really freaked me out, I had many sleepless nights and have been in a very introspective mood. I also have been looking around the house for assets that I can sell. We have a few things that we want to post on Craigslist so we have decided that anything we make will go towards our debt repayment.

We have also decided to be more vigilant and use a budget when we go grocery shopping or shopping in general. We have been fortunate that we have this grocery store around the corner that is hands down cheaper than most of the major stores and we can go there and get more for less. We also are going to use the entertainment that we already have our gym membership and our Netflix.

Each dollar that we save will be used towards our debt. We are looking at ways where we can cut costs and have some really good ideas to use the craft products we bought for our wedding for the holidays.

We hope to have it paid off by the holidays and we are doing it together!