Overwhelmed

I am just feeling very overwhelmed today as I was last night. I just have a few things to do and no time to get it all done before the procedure tomorrow. It has been extremely hot here and trying to get my apt cleaned (mom approved clean!) is a slow progress. I went to bed late trying to get things done. Class let out on time so I did not get home, JT pulled his "no show" act which pissed me off and my apt was so hot and gross. My dining room is still looking like a disaster from last week because I used it to study and I have tons of shoes and clothes everywhere! I was on the verge of tears last night because of everything I wanted to do and on top of it I was tired.

Tonight looks like it will be similar. I have to pick up my mom, eat, go to the grocery store, eat and get ready for tomorrow. JT is "suppose" to stop by to drop of the dvds but I am not counting on that. My GP is going to stop by to pick up the car. I guess in a way it is a good thing keeping me too busy to start to get worried about tomorrow. But in the back of my mind, I am afraid. My brain knows that the practicalities and the procedure will be okay but my heart is saying "what if". It is easy to read or talk to people about their experiences but since I've never gone through it, I am afraid.

My mom is already pissing me off. She has such a big mouth and has told people that I did not want to know. I am not in the mood to deal with her and there will be a storm brewing between us. I just need her to back off!

Obviously, I am cranky, stressed and overwhelmed.